Sunday, June 12, 2005

Summer Projects

For this Summer (and most of my Spring already) I have decided to grow some plants. Just some veggies: tomatoes, peppers, leeks, spaghetti squash, clives, and some basil. As you might have guessed I like to cook.

Because the only place available is a space about 9' x 6' that is also used for traffic and sitting out and enjoying the weather a few home improvements must be made. I am installing some shelving that will hopefully solve the space issue. This isn't the first and certainly is not the last "project" I have undertaken. These "projects", more often than not, take on a life of their own with costs and time consumptions growing by the minute.

Since I don't have many viewer at this point (lets hope there are hundreds and thousands but all are just too shy to comment) I will be brief. I love these projects! The the real world I might even be able to make a living doing these "Projects" for others. BUT, in reality also lies the probability that when faced with HAVING to do projects to eat and pay the bills I would no longer enjoy doing them.

SO, for now I sit and talk on a phone all day, at my desk, in my cubicle like a good little drone.

Life is too short for that kind of living though. The problem is this: Actual Freedom vs Perceived Freedom. Here is an example. I PERCEIVE that I will be free if I leave my job and do something else that I enjoy; teaching at the college level, graphic design, home improvement, etc. In REALity though I risk nearly all of my freedom as I will not necessarily have as stead an income as I do now. Any income I do have will be AFTER I go through more school/training for my new career which I WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR.

People have told me, "declare backruptcy, then you can start fresh!" Ya, after your credit score go in the shitter and you have to build it back up AFTER the 7 years of waiting for the bankruptcy to get off your record.

Still others tell me to "Just Do It" like some messed up Tony Robbins motivational seminar cross-bred with a Nike commercial. Damn the consequences and go for it. If you fail at least you tried. Ya tried and put myself further in debt by god know how many thousands.

THEN, there are the "Mothers" out there. No not MY mother but the people who sound like they are your mother. You have a steady pay check and good benefits, you should be thankful and just stay where you are. Well guess what, my medical only covers the 1st 30 days of mental treatment and I will need a lot more of that if I have to stay a drone for even 3 more years!

So, I must choose. Left or Right, Up or Down, Chocolate or Vanilla, plain Jane FUCKING vanilla.

Lately Vanilla has been REALLY getting on my nerves. I think the problems stems from the fact that I either that I have Adult ADD or I was just not built and raised to sit and work in an area that the government has ruled too small to be use for solitary confinement by any corrections facility in the U.S.

Well "bitchin' on the Blog" won't solve any thing!

For now, the next few hours now, I will finish my project and then decide what to do with the remainder of my life. Sounds like more fun than a cold margarita and a kick in the crotch!

Talk to you'll later.